blast from the past

last night at a work event (in real estate, for those of you who still hold me in high esteem and think i took the not for profit job, sorry to disappoint but i changed my mind!) i was approached by a couple saying "are you from boston?"

they used to be friends with an ex of mine and now they live here in DC. weird. they are from so long ago, a world ago, and i am such a different person now. strange how running into an old acquaintance can do bring me right back to the past. right back to dancing at the upstairs lounge to cool 80s tunes. right back to crazy fun and then crazy crazy times when my life was turning upside down as i watched.

it all makes me miss boston terribly. i don't miss those times, i just miss knowing where to go and how to get around and, strangely enough, i miss my old apartment on commonwealth avenue with a fierceness that surprises me.

creative litter box

i can't tell if one of the kitties is a genius or is a complete and utter fool. the other day, J changed the litter box but left the old litter in the bathroom trash can. she tied up the bag but since it was rather late, she decided to wait until the morning to bring the trash to the dumpster.

when i got up to go to work, i found a little kitty fecal treat on top of the tied trash can. somehow one of the kitties jumped into the... can... and took a dump atop the old litter sitting in the bag.

either his sense of smell was particularly acute this morning or he was sending a message to J about taking out the trash in a more timely manner. he must have been wondering why his moms bought a new round litter box that was really tall and hard to poo in.

here's the carrot, again

ok, my boss countered AGAIN. with a HUGE increase. i sort of think that if i wait a few more days, i'll be offered six figures.

i am torn and i don't understand why... i can't say where my heart is at all. it's nowhere. the money? it's significant. the long-term happiness at either position? unclear.

pro/con list:

pros to staying in real estate - $$$, a whole new field that i actually enjoy, challenges, working under an amazing guy
cons to staying in real estate - not using my MPH, potential to be burned by sales

pros to taking MPH job - using my degree, networking nationwide, returning to my non-profit roots
cons to taking MPH job - living poor again, not feeling 100% sure about myself in this position

i have tonight. i have limited time to un-do my acceptance and sign a contract for a year in real estate.

i have a tummy ache.

decision made. argh.

i took the public health job. of course i did, i have to try it at least. i have to give it my best shot. but i am feeling unsure and questioning everything - my reasons, my motive, what i am giving up and what i am getting into...

plus my car is acting like a piece of shit, as it does whenever it rains, which means trouble could be brewing for our finances if/when we need a new car. at least we can buy a hybrid though. i am hoping that greta the jetta lasts us at least one more year. but at 95k+ miles and a rocky history of issues, i am a wee bit concerned.

my start date is in two short weeks. i have two weeks to adjust to waking up so that i can be at work at 9am, as opposed to waking up at 9am. no more one mile commute. oh well.

decisions, decisions

FINALLY i get a job offer in public health. what happens? my real estate boss counters the offer with 12k more and also tells me he is going to pay for me to get my license with his own money.

really.

do i take the best job i can imagine in public health, working on lesbian health issues nationwide? OR do i take the money and figure out my way in real estate?

which one will still be there for me years down the road, if i change my mind?

which one will help me sleep at night?

everyone says the same thing. my friends and family all give me the same, sound advice. but i am tired of being poor. then again, i worry i will kick myself for saying no to this perfect dream job.

why is following your dreams sometimes at the cost of enjoying the fine things of life, like no car payment?