chubs

OMG, i have gained weight. for real. everything feels a *little* bit snug. and visiting the family this past weekend confirmed it. they hold nothing back. so today i bid a sad goodbye to second dinner. now i can only have first dinner. so sad. food tastes so yummy.

we went to provincetown, showed J the atlantic - well, she claims she's been in it before, but come on, that was when she was 4 years old. that totally doesn't count. had a lovely time, my bro came with us which was wicked cool. and my sister rented a honda pilot. unfortunately, me and my girl got stuck in the "way back" due to our shorter legs. to think that we used to fight over the way back as children. that vechicle is more truck than SUV. and yes, they are evil and waste gas, but i think one SUV with 7 of us in it uses less gas than 2 cars, right?

los gatos were alone all weekend, save for C and L feeding them. i fully expected gato attitude last night, but instead they were snuggleheads! soooo cute. i almost forgot what it was like to sleep with 2 cats pushing against my legs. needless to say, it's easier to sleep without them.

but i love them! love them!

use a damn toothpick

went for a bike ride today. 5 short miles, ALL HILLS. that's the thing about living at the highest point in a city - to go anywhere, you go downhill. to get home, you have to go up those same damn hills that were so much fun to fly down. i am in pain. J is in pain. we made pizza tonight, and after bending down to check on it as it bubbled up in the oven, i was stuck. j had to come pull me out of my crouching position. if 31 is this bad, 32 isn't looking too promising.

i love making pizza at home, but i think next time i'll make the dough too. trader joe's has decent, cheap dough ($0.79) but it wasn't quite good enough. plus i love to do everything from scratch. i even made the sauce! yum yum!

our tomato paste had some, uh, penicillin qualities to it, so j and i ran over to whole paycheck to pick some up... and have our appetizer of cheese and cakes and whatever they have on sample. j was trying to get a toothpick to get (yet another) cheese sample, and some pushy DC preppy ignorant chick walks up and reaches in WITH HER HAND!!! i say to her "there's a reason you should use a toothpick, that's nasty" and she giggles and walks away. i continue with "i don't want your disgusting germs on my food you stupid bitch." she didn't hear that last part and j reprimanded me, but i was so so so crazy mad! i mean, j was obviously trying to get a toothpick out because that's what you are supposed to do. and that she not only stuck her nasty fingers in there, but she cut in line! i wanted to kick her in the shin!

and that's when i realized that i needed a nap.

jade

J and i were inspired by all the futbol watching (poor france - but i daresay italy's win is tempered by the fact that it was through penatly kicks. in other words, don't go celebrating too much italy. it was a keeper's game in the end.) she suggested we go outside and break in my new glove. oh my, i am a bad lesbian. if i can't throw a softball from 1st base to 2nd base, then i can't make the team... if i was trying out for a team, that is. J says i'm good, but after 20 minutes i hurt. i think i pulled my shoulder.

and in other bad news, when trying to catch a stellar throw, the ball hit my jade bracelet spot on, cracking it in three equal pieces. i know that jade bracelets are worn to promote health and long life, but what does it mean when it breaks? a quick google proved futile. (yes, i am using google as a verb in that sentence.) one site suggested that broken jade means harm was heading my way, but the jade broke in place of me.

regardless, i am without a jade bracelet now. i haggled for that thing! i played the game with a street vendor in thailand for my jade bracelet! i officially put it on and did not remove it when i moved to DC, to help me find a job. and now that it's broken, i fear negativity on my horizon!

what kind of atheist am i? i don't believe in god but i believe in a jade bracelet? oh dios mio!

blast from the past

last night at a work event (in real estate, for those of you who still hold me in high esteem and think i took the not for profit job, sorry to disappoint but i changed my mind!) i was approached by a couple saying "are you from boston?"

they used to be friends with an ex of mine and now they live here in DC. weird. they are from so long ago, a world ago, and i am such a different person now. strange how running into an old acquaintance can do bring me right back to the past. right back to dancing at the upstairs lounge to cool 80s tunes. right back to crazy fun and then crazy crazy times when my life was turning upside down as i watched.

it all makes me miss boston terribly. i don't miss those times, i just miss knowing where to go and how to get around and, strangely enough, i miss my old apartment on commonwealth avenue with a fierceness that surprises me.

creative litter box

i can't tell if one of the kitties is a genius or is a complete and utter fool. the other day, J changed the litter box but left the old litter in the bathroom trash can. she tied up the bag but since it was rather late, she decided to wait until the morning to bring the trash to the dumpster.

when i got up to go to work, i found a little kitty fecal treat on top of the tied trash can. somehow one of the kitties jumped into the... can... and took a dump atop the old litter sitting in the bag.

either his sense of smell was particularly acute this morning or he was sending a message to J about taking out the trash in a more timely manner. he must have been wondering why his moms bought a new round litter box that was really tall and hard to poo in.

here's the carrot, again

ok, my boss countered AGAIN. with a HUGE increase. i sort of think that if i wait a few more days, i'll be offered six figures.

i am torn and i don't understand why... i can't say where my heart is at all. it's nowhere. the money? it's significant. the long-term happiness at either position? unclear.

pro/con list:

pros to staying in real estate - $$$, a whole new field that i actually enjoy, challenges, working under an amazing guy
cons to staying in real estate - not using my MPH, potential to be burned by sales

pros to taking MPH job - using my degree, networking nationwide, returning to my non-profit roots
cons to taking MPH job - living poor again, not feeling 100% sure about myself in this position

i have tonight. i have limited time to un-do my acceptance and sign a contract for a year in real estate.

i have a tummy ache.

decision made. argh.

i took the public health job. of course i did, i have to try it at least. i have to give it my best shot. but i am feeling unsure and questioning everything - my reasons, my motive, what i am giving up and what i am getting into...

plus my car is acting like a piece of shit, as it does whenever it rains, which means trouble could be brewing for our finances if/when we need a new car. at least we can buy a hybrid though. i am hoping that greta the jetta lasts us at least one more year. but at 95k+ miles and a rocky history of issues, i am a wee bit concerned.

my start date is in two short weeks. i have two weeks to adjust to waking up so that i can be at work at 9am, as opposed to waking up at 9am. no more one mile commute. oh well.

decisions, decisions

FINALLY i get a job offer in public health. what happens? my real estate boss counters the offer with 12k more and also tells me he is going to pay for me to get my license with his own money.

really.

do i take the best job i can imagine in public health, working on lesbian health issues nationwide? OR do i take the money and figure out my way in real estate?

which one will still be there for me years down the road, if i change my mind?

which one will help me sleep at night?

everyone says the same thing. my friends and family all give me the same, sound advice. but i am tired of being poor. then again, i worry i will kick myself for saying no to this perfect dream job.

why is following your dreams sometimes at the cost of enjoying the fine things of life, like no car payment?

chapel hill

the research triangle is called, simply, the triangle. i learned that during our long weekend trip to durham, raleigh and chapel hill. i looked into attending UNC's MPH program. i hardly ever say this, but thank god i went to tulane. that place is too dang country for me. the gay scene is about as hoppin' as the gay scene here. lots of mullets, bad fashion, ugly sandals.

oh bay area, you spoiled me with your cute, trendy dykes!

we spent the weekend with my best friend from boston, e, and her GF. the gatos enjoyed the trip, though our little emmett was carsick on the ride home. poor guy. e's girl allegedly hates cats... but she came around to our little guys. she's such a fake cat hater! both kitties took turns on her lap purring. puh-lease! hate cats? not ours. no one can resist our boys.

imagine when i have children. i'll be one of those mothers with a "perfect" child. slap me if i become that person. please. do it for my own sake!!

it was lovely hanging out with e again. no time passes between us even when months pass. four hours away is closer than we've been in years, but it's still four hours. after all the moving around the country j and i did, i can't really stand being in the car. i thought i'd be thrilled to spend a short 4 hours on a road trip, but en route home, i just couldn't take it. i woke up cranky yesterday and i remained as such until this morning. i think it was the drive... knowing i'd have to be in the car all day monday was dreadful. this is what happens when you grow up in the northeast. everything - the ocean, mountains, outlets, amusement parks, cities, towns, lakes - it's all less than 2 hours away. during my childhood, our longest day trip was to maine. a few hours of driving, total. none of this four hour shit. ugh.

why am i complaining? i had an excellent weekend with my girl, my best friend, her GF, and my kitties. i have nothing to complain about!!

ah, extended family.

J got a drunken/high on e call from her cousin last night. at FOUR in the morning. i was a monster. don't wake me up.

i mean, come on, he knew the time. he just didn't care.

it's sooo rude.